boring sat. but it didnt end that boring either. walked and talked to zk from thomson to bishan park, about his work, about his/my future, etc etc. i like talks like that. but i also know guys probably hate to talk like that most of the time. the more i listen to him and his plans for the future, the more i feel that guys really do change when they start planning about their future. probably its cos their career really takes priority, i mean, if there is no money, no career, they dont exactly have a future to think about. perhaps that is why it does not really matter if the girl by their side by the time they want to settle down is someone they truly love with all their heart. it seems like its more or less "we're stable", "if i love her, its a bonus", "its time to settle down and set up a family". does that explain why ppl often settle down with someone stable, but not the person they loved most in their lives? maybe... maybe when im older, when im looking to settle down, i'd think that way too. but for now, im just happy being with someone whom i truly love. its a blessing to love someone, be loved, and to be truly happy together.

there is no doubt that we quarrel, probably more often than i would have liked, probably more hurtful than i would have wanted, but to me, its all part and parcel of growing up. not just me or him growing up, but our relationship as well. i dont doubt the fact that history might repeat itself, and i dont deny the fact that many of my friends do not trust him as it is. i understand that whatever happened in the past is really unforgivable to many. but i want to trust him again, and believe that he has changed. i also know its impossible to convince friends when they alr have a bad impression of him. so im not even trying. i'll just let time tell. it does get tiring though, when friends occasionally ask if we're alright, if i think he is worth my time, if i think this relationship is worth my sacrifices. i guess those sacrifices, be it time or effort, work both ways. he has made his choices and he is making sacrifices too. it does sound like im defending him, but its more of what my heart wants, and im just being as fair as i can not to discredit him. one thing that no other guy can do is to make me as happy as he makes me. i think that in itself is alr priceless.

im so glad that i have so many friends concerned about me, but at the same time, im finding it so tough to please everyone. to the point that im most concerned about my own happiness. true enough, it might seem like there are better choices out there waiting for me. but then again, some things like chemistry cant be forged. some things like love cant be forced. no matter how eligible a guy may be, he might just not be the one for me. love is irrational. im happy, and i really hope that one day, all my friends would be happy for me too. probably like the way dar and belle say they are happy for chris. that again, is priceless.