instead of asking "why is she still in the picture after so long?" i shd be saying "all this is caused by a guy who doesn't know how to handle the girls in his life".

which is... well, so true. i put myself in her shoes, and i see that she is at no fault. neither is she attention seeking or whatever. in her eyes, this guy broke up with his ex cos of her, and now that he's dating someone else alr, he's still contacting her. this just goes to show that she still means smth to him. naturally, she'd feel that there is still a chance somewhere. its normal she feels this way, cos if im in her shoes, i'd feel that way too.

its hard to hear the truth. even harder to know that for the entire while, so many problems arose cos he cant handle his ex properly. there may or may not be smth going on between them. but some things cant be changed. that is my impressions and my disappointments. i am still disappointed in him. in the fact that he lied to me for so long. that all these problems boil down to him not being able to sort out his own feelings. that he wasn't even serious bout this from the start, and what was supposed to be a honeymoon period became hell in my memory. its like we started from hell, and over the years, we kept trying to make things better. but how much better can better be? or even, how much has changed these two years odd? perhaps.... we've just been going arnd in circles and we never ended up far from where we started. its crazy to think that your bf of 2yrs odd is still in contact with his ex. and he's still concerned about her, blah blah blah. it just says how much he thinks of his current relationship, and how much he thinks of her, and how much respect he has of his current gf. its insane. i know.

i am a stupid gf. that i know. its so easy to lie to me for 2 years. 2 fucking years. seems like i havent learnt from my previous relationship at all. i keep thinking i've became smarter, less naive and gullible, but i realized, i still am! perhaps im so dumb that every guy doesn't take me seriously. haa. how pathetic. perhaps im so easy to deceive that every guy thinks "why not?". all these lies and deceit just makes me feel useless and stupid. and i start thinking that there arent honest guys out there at all. i've learnt not to trust ppl easily, but i STILL get cheated. 2 yrs plus. how dumb can i get? haa.

im disappointed in him, even more disappointed in myself...