times like this, i really do wonder, why do i even bother going thru so much for him? perhaps i went thru all that for myself. maybe i'd feel better thinking that way.

not feeling well at all. physically, mentally. a lill groggy from the alcohol. that's an understatement. i needs sleep. finally i can sleep at 2.14am. this is a feat. maybe i need some alcohol to put me to sleep. i wish i wont wake up at all.