its been some time since i watched a drama serial. for some awkward reason, serials always have to have some form of love triangle, somebody dying, and some damn good looking actors in it. the serial im currently hooked onto has all of the above. and im stuck at the 'somebody dying' part.. which is why my eyes are teary at this hour. 2.33am.

finally, convinced myself to let everything go. i know where i stand, i know how much i matter to whom. with that, of cos i know how insignificant i am to certain people. sometimes ppl like to self delude, nobody likes to be belittled. but its when u come to your senses that u realize, u almost cease to exist in the other person's mind. probably that's when u know, its really time to let go. i've never been as upset. probably because i've never put so much into any r/s. but me being me, i'd never admit to it. its ironic how someone cares so much more, but i cant bring myself to even give him a chance to take care of me. guilt towards zk, or i just dun wanna prove zk right by letting him come close? i dunno. i feel sorry for him, for zk, for myself. as of now, i want to be alone. any form of disruption would just make me feel worse.