im not supportive of zk's decision this time round. and i apologised for it. cos i know it isnt nice to come to an argument about the job every single time it is brought up. i got reminded of how i used to quarrel w sy over his job, and how it really soured our r/s cos we couldnt see eye to eye about ONE particular issue. i know im stubborn. and if i dont agree, i'll not act as if i comply and say 'ohh fine, i think you make sense too' or smth along that line. i dont believe in saying things that are untrue to make the other person feel better. i know that is a problem that lies with me, and i've yet to rectify it. but i just dont want zk n me to fall into the same situation as i did w sy in the past.

so many ppl at work yday pissed me off. or rather, i really couldnt agree with the way they worked. and i really pity part timers who get bullied and dont dare to speak up. perhaps im just too cocky. that's why i shoot my mouth off even though they are my superiors. its just a part time job, and im just stating how i feel. if i get booted cos of this, i wont die of hunger in the streets. that's my horrible attitude, which reasons for my directness to most superiors. im frank to everyone, and i justify what i say, and cos of that, i think i have my reasons for saying what i say, and i dont feel the least bit of guilt or feel that im disrespecting them. but seriously, at times, they are so so so screwed up i can only shout FUCK. which was exactly what happened yday.

had to come home cos of some stuffs, and spent the day w daddy n mommy. it felt so nice shopping w mommy, just bringing her arnd, telling her what stuffs are coming into fashion etc. bought a dress from dorothy perkins, and mommy got cropped jeans. its been so long since i went to parkway parade w daddy mommy, and the whole building is so different from the one i went to when i was a kid. same for marina square. those places i frequented have all changed. even places i went to a few years back, have been torn down or replaced with new buildings. everyone loses bits and pieces of their memories along with the tearing down of these places, cos without the physical structure there to remind u it once existed, ppl tend to forget. ironically, without the physical presence of some other stuffs, eg people, ppl tend NOT to forget instead. how absurd.

Your stress and anxiety are a result of an emotional disappointment. It could well be that the emotional relationship is no longer running smoothly and you have come to the end of your tether. On the one hand you would like to free yourself from this relationship altogether, yet on the other hand, you don't want to lose anything nor risk the uncertainty of throwing away something - something that's precious, something that could be the 'Real Thing'. Perhaps for the first time in your life you really don't know which way to go and it is these contradictory emotions that are causing you the untold stress. You are pretending to the world that you don't care but even this air of pretence is causing you much heartache.

im not as happy as before. can somebody tell me why?