yday was really one of the happiest days of my life. simple it may be, but i was just v happy that i had dear's company throughout. time is really precious for him.. and im so glad he made it a pt to find time to spend w me. really really appreciate it. it was probably only after yday that i realised why he always gets SO agitated when i meet others and not him. i nv viewed his time as precious as he himself does. now i see the point. in a year, there probably wont be many chances for us to just relax like that. but i'll rmr yday. not because it is exceptionally special or extravagant, but cos it was simple, sweet and the company made up for the rest of it. i really really love deardear. for all his support and encouragements. he may drop insulting comments or not-so-pleasing remarks, but i know he will still love me anyway. it doesnt help that im of sucha low self esteem. sometimes his words really tend to hurt. and i do wonder if im that lousy. but at the end of the day, its comforting to know that he'll still love me even if im lousy. =)

a simple chronological list of what we did yday: made love, sleep, jap lunch at ecp, east coast park (he cycled while i bladed), his home, my home, tong shui cafe, zouk, his home, made love again.

k it sounds retarded. i just wanted to note it down somewhere. somewhere i can look back in future and rmr. i can happily go into details here, since nobody reads it anw. haa.. i actually made dear angry yday night. cos i drank at weixiang's place and knocked out without letting him know. he stayed up till 4+ waiting and waiting... sighs. my bad. came to his place as soon as i woke up. tucked into bed w him. hee.. i love sleeping in his arms. i feel like a lil girl resting in the security of someone else. anw, we woke up arnd 1+ to decide what to do. movies, night safari, ecp, zouk... all were kinda uncertain. it was ecp in the end, and we had really good jap food at this rest there. pampered ourselves a lil. then we went blading/cycling. OMG damn paiseh. i feel so horrible blading in front of him. cos i know every single person that first sees me blade will laugh his ass off. alr tested and proven by many many friends. sulks. but he kept telling me i was doing fine. even when i fell he said that it wasnt even considered a fall. well, it sounded reassuring to me. and really, i couldnt help smiling to myself. he did laugh, but i guess he was more worried bout me falling. he's the first who didnt put me down though i cant blade for god's sake. yes i can move, but i have absolutely no technique of blading. its been quite some time since i heard reassuring statements from anyone, much less him. fulfillment of self ego! decided to go bowling!! i havent bowled for a year plus?? honestly, i was thinking bowling w just the 2 of us might end up boring the hell out of us. it was just 2 of us and balls. but i was proven wrong. (thankfully) cos its never boring w him arnd! k la i may be making it sound too 'perfect' alr.. but there was not a pt in time where i was thinking of going home... with someone like me who has short attn span, its quite a feat. =) we had to leave to change n stuff, for zouk. it got kinda exasperating at a pt in time when i realised so much of the info i received or sent out was screwed up. but in awhile all that got rectified. so... we changed n headed down to zouk. in a long long long time i havent clubbed in shorts. and yday i was in polo n shorts n sneakers. SUPER lok kok. only deardear thot it looked nice. =( but i felt damn comfy in my clothes. for once im not afraid to zao geng, not afraid i'd get blisters from heels etc etc etc. music was a-okay, but i think its alr more fun than any previous times i clubbed w dear. stayed over at his place and i've no idea why in the middle of the night we woke up and ended up making love. really i have no idea! in his dreams he woke me up or smth. n dammit he doesnt know that i'll get f-ing excited woken up in the night. ok too much info. in the morning he woke me up, kissed my stinko mouth and told me he was gg to work. awww..... deardear, im alr missing u...

that shd be enough to record my day! haa.. unhappy stuffs, things that made me tear, im just gonna dump them down the chute. i shd know who is worthy of my tears, who isnt worthy of my love.

i just realised its 10th march. if im not wrong, its about a year since i've been together w chris lim zhi kai. he's a darling. i know i can live without him, but honestly, i dunno what i can do without him... i may not NEED him, but i very very very much WANT him. haa.. i love deardear. he has his flaws, but nobody's perfect. im not a v lovable person to start with, so why shd i be complaining bout him? he can love me for who i am, not pretty, not hot, not magnanimous, not good in bed, not compliant, not the least bit a good gf. im sure i can love him for who he is. (i just wish he could quit smoking, really) i must've been a good girl in my past life to exchange good karma for him. if i can, i wanna hog him and not pass him on to anyone else. hahaha.. love is selfish.