Is it you I want, or just the notion of a heart to wrap around, so that I can find my way around?

lonely souls seek company. comfort of having someone there. busy souls seek solitude. comfort of peace and tranquility, perhaps from within.

i seem to relate more to the latter. i dislike complicated matters, which is why i hate matters of the heart. feeling too much isnt a good thing. lonely ppl preoccupy themselves so they have no time to fall into self pity. i know how that feels. you count time, hour by hour, till you lose count, or lose the patience to count. then you go into routines. work, school, whatsoever. routines such that you follow mindlessly, and return home like it was worthwhile, when all you did was to repeat the routine in a daze. at the end of the day, emptiness seeps in, tears fall, and you go to bed. there are times when it gets unbearable... and you try to find a way out.... and realise there isnt an EXIT sign anywhere in this maze.

i know he cares, he's concerned, so am i. but there is this barrier cos i wont allow myself to display any emotions to him. its too risky. i prefer things.... safe.

nic can be sucha sweetheart sometimes, but i guess its the traits of a once-playa. haa.. many have eyes for him, but he has eyes for only one. he still loves her, but lacks the courage for a new start with the same girl. he says his determination has died, his patience has worn off. he says he loves her but her selfish ways. he says there's a little of her in everything of him. i say that he loves her still and he shouldnt let her go. i say he'd end up like me, wanting smth i cant get. i say love will not fade with time, with change. what more can you ask for, but to love one wholeheartedly, with all your heart and soul, to give like there's no tomorrow? this person u're willing to give it all for, why let her go?

sigh.. some scars are un-mendable. but its the person you love, and you just cant help but love his/her every teeny weeny bit.. cos u love the person in totality, with all his flaws.

if there's one person u love most in ur life (up till now), who'd it be?