read na's blog n kinda understand her pt of view now. i cant say i fully agree with what she did, but i know she's happy now, very very blissful in her current r/s, seeing a future ahead of her w her current bf whom i only rmr as scarecrow. guess i shd be happy for her. afterall, its her happiness that matters. it'd be hard to hold on seeing that u'd go nowhere.. i understand that feeling totally. i can rationalize what made her make her decision, n i know sometimes love comes unexpectedly.. but knowing jk's plight right now simply doesnt allow me to be all joyous for my darling na.

there's this balenciaga bag that's freakin gorgeous n the price is freakin steep.

ran thru photobucket, flickr n some unknown n cannot-be-remembered picture upload softwares like picasa etcetc. cos i had to show ann how to upload pics onto the web n use them. i've got pics from damn long ago, like those when i first started my blog. i've got pics dating way way way back, those stupid crazy lovely memorable shots. n each n every single shot i knew where n when i took it. shots of him n me. shots of what had been. jiu ai hai shi zui mei. u know how withered roses look pretty still? i think that's how i look at all these. read his mail. cos that's the only one im left with since harry deleted the rest. fate likes to play tricks on ppl, letting chances slip by like that, right before their eyes. i realised im still missing out on one pic. one pic he never gave me since we broke up. one pic i really really want for keepsake.

had extreme dreams last night. in one, i broke up w zk on xmas night. n again, it was a drunk xmas eve, but this time round, it was kor, nick, eve, dan n cheemun w me. dun ask me why cm was there. so out of place. but yea it was a weird crowd. n i got dead drunk, n i said stupid things. were those words from my heart? i've no idea man. i knocked out. (in my dream) i woke up. (in reality) and then i fell asleep again. this time round, things were totally different. zk was a totally different zk. it was the zk who did everything to make me happy, the one that irritated but made my day, the zk who held on to me like i was his lil girl. but after walking n walking (i dunno where it was), we came to dhoby ghaut stn n parted ways. but the careless him left his jacket w me n i walked all the way to the NEL side to look for him. but when i got there, it wasnt just him. it was him n his ex, hand in hand. a tear rolled down unknowingly, in my dream and in reality, and i woke. i woke with that pain within, known as heartache.. gosh, it did hurt. n i tell myself, its just a dream..

baby.. i do miss you...