had a nightmare, smth i was contemplating on last night.. n i had no idea why, i woke up crying. isit that i cant bear to, or i simply lack the courage to? talked to eve, telling each other how we trusted guys, let them into our lives, and then let them fuck up our lives n leave without a word.

i really think the explanations or reasons or whatsoever dear gave me were crap. sounds like a line that can only dupe 3 yr olds. but as usual things will just revert to norm as though it nv happened. if that's all the excuse he can give, then what more can i do? at times like this i just feel helpless.