why do i think the way i do.. why do i let emotions decide actions..

4 simple words, he isnt worth it. then why do those tears still drop for him? ridiculous. i realised it wasnt pity for him. its plain concern. concern i shower unconditionally.

nick hit the spot. i cant stop caring for him. isit love or isit really nothing (as i put it to be). once he tells me he's upset, in trouble, lonely.. i'll worry for the next few days. occasionally smsing to ask if he's all right. i really cant stop caring. its like a natural routine i cant break.

i know dear would read this. i know it isnt fair to him. dun ask me what i want, cos u know all i want is you. my emotional side n rational side are not agreeing. if this is gonna continue, i might just give up... its tiring, and its so bloody unfair to zk. fuck, i dont know how to control my feelings or what? crap. im shagged out.