sent him msges along that line. excluding the i love you's. dear thinks im stroking his ego, but i really dun think there's anything he ought to be proud of. (i wonder why i dun feel proud i walked out of this screwed up r/s) but then again, i feel so much better to have sent those msges, to have affirm myself and make my stand clear. perhaps this would reassure myself where im heading too. its just a good move for me to get on with life. feels so much better knowing i wont be facing him anytime soon. escapism? i prefer to think that im facing the music.

he's taken a part of me along w him. n im a changed person. less trusting *definitely*, less lovey-dovey, less cheery, less hyperactive. shut myself up till dear came along, n im rediscovering myself w this baby of mine. cant decipher if its sy or zk who changed me, but i feel old in relationships. aged. while all my frens are still hoping for fairytale love stories, i've long given up on those. while they bask in love and yearn for romantism, i'm alr more of a realista and think nothing of sweet mushy earthlings. am i sounding gloomy or smth? im not. its just that i've seen some ugly sides of people, i cant help but lose faith. just a lil bit though, cos people are still essentially nice. everyone's beautiful, its how you look at them. cliche huh? but i really believe in that. "to me, you are (no longer) perfect."