feeling jaded. cant find a better word to describe my feelings right now. lex is best company for times like that, he nv fails to make me smile. past few nights of mj has left me nocturnal. energetic at night, sleepy n restless by day. tsktsk. isnt a good thing at all!

i wanna go to the beach, sprawl there n tan, n all emotions hidden under that face towel of mine. repressed. melancholic. probably abit of everything.

manipedi tmr. n arranging for a kbox session w those motorola ppl. weird combi, but they offered, no harm. basically leon n guys, n the 4 of us.

smses for keepsake. or to remind myself of smth. smth i promise myself. screwed up. its either him or me. things like that, i'd rather zk not know. same as to why he din wanna let me know bout visiting her blog n stuffs. some things, rather not say, rather not know. total honesty might not be the best thing in any r/s, but at least, it builds that rapport, that trust. nv thought that way in the past. but now i have to re-learn how to trust, and of cos, i learn to be all honest, n like zk puts it, keep a clean sheet. (it isnt easy!)

nic fucked himself upside down. bastard. a stupid one. gave him a piece of my mind and how i felt to be at the receiving end in my last r/s. if he really loves his gf, why the hell does he have to commit this sorta grave and unpardonable mistake?? he's giving me negative vibes alr. cos i really dislike guys who cheat n lie. who cares if its a white lie, its a lie my darling.

some babies just dont learn. have i learnt my lesson?