dear's words sting. i know some of those touched the most sensitive corners of my heart, but i refuse to mention. do i refuse to learn from my mistakes? i can only say that i do unto him what i think is alright for him to do unto me. i thot its fine to go out w ex or flings or whosoever, as long as i knew what i was doing. n of cos, i nv stopped him going out w his ex or flings or yadayadayada. i thot it was mutual, but nope, it isnt. not that i blame zk. i know i aint in the best posn to say i know how to take care of myself. so i think i shd be good n listen. n be especially good when he's in camp. i can understand his anxiety n concerns, but darling, not all things happen in recurring cycles. dont compare what ur ex did n be afraid it'll happen again... pls? i'd be paranoid by now if i compared u against sy. two separate entities dun behave the same way.

i said he kinda touched the sensitive edges, he kinda negated his way to make me realise it was kinda like i deserved what i got from sy. sy knows how to get arnd making me feel a certain way, n i was always thrown into nasty moods afterwhich. but it was me who allowed this to happen, i knew he could twirl me round his fingertips and make me all emo, but i still gave him the chance to do so to me. if i didnt deserve it, what wassit? tt's why.. when zk was swearing at how f-ed up sy was.. a tear rolled down my cheek. not for him, but for myself...

got my 2 earholes back. previously i pierced them the first time i left sy. now im piercing them cos im leaving him for good. lalala. i said i'd mark the end. now i just wanna settle for a simple n peaceful r/s. i really hate to upset zk. but i still do.. =( many-a-times i still think i can act as though im single.. i forget bout his feelings.. forget that there's someone out there who actually cares bout how i feel..

cos it nv was the case.