some things feel good when done the ol'fashioned way. like how they used to be done. its like a routine revisited. we'd be sitting at the bench, he'd slip on the earphones for me, turn on the song he'd like me to hear. n the lyrics always speak of what's on his mind. n this time round, there were 2 songs.

superwoman - a song i nv expected him to play. i mean, he isnt even into cheena music n stuffs. but somehow, i knew what he wanted to tell me w that song. almost, n i mean ALMOST, brought me to tears. but i din wanna let him see me cry, not again. he's seen enough of that. sighs. too late baby.

linger - he watched click. he watched the breakup. n he knew i'd love this song. the lyrics again, speak of our history. so so so fittingly.

zhi shao hai you ni - a song that belongs to us. only us. i rmr o level result day, sitting at esplanade w him, listening to this song. i dun wish to rmr anymore. i dun have him anymore.

talked bout his family, talked bout mel n ser. things arent going too well for him i must say, but i dunno how i can render help. at the most, i can only be a listening ear. it'd be weird to talk to aunty, even weirder to ask him anything. its like, im in no position to ask so much. bout mel, its a pity. he said he'd be staying single for awhile more, cos he hasnt came across anyone that he wanted as much. n i can only wonder what that is supposed to mean.

i hate this feeling i get when i listen to those 2 songs now. why is he able to sway my mood even though he's outta my life? why is he still sucha deciding factor in my life? why do i seem to care so much still? this isnt fair to zk. neither is this fair to myself. cant i just let go n give myself a chance to love someone else totally? argh. fuck it. this sucks. i shdnt dwell on him anymore. neither shd i consider bout rejecting other guys n their feelings. just reject n freakin not care a shit. tt would be betta.